Summer 1984 or How I Met My Husband

I have to start this post by saying that I don't have a scanner and because I don't have a scanner, there is no way I can show you pictures that relate to the story I am about to tell.  Rest assured, someday I will be able to post those necessary pictures.  For the mean time you will have to trust me that I looked totally hot in the 80's (big hair and all) and so did the other person in this story, BunBun.  Also... this is a very long post.

It was nearing the beginning of the summer in 1984.  I would be a senior in the fall and then after that....off to college.  My brother, who is 3 1/2 years younger than me, was ending up his Babe Ruth baseball season.  For some reason, I don't know if it was boredom or what, but I went to one of his games.  (Not something I normally did because I had an afternoon and weekend job at Heidi's Bakery.)  As I watched his game, I noticed a really cute guy on his team.  I must have asked him about this guy.  I soon was going to all of his games, what few there were left to play.  My dad was also an assistant coach and had a list of all the players names and phone numbers.  Between going to the games and flirting with this guy and having his number already....well, I did what my mom said girls shouldn't do; I called him.

Baseball season ended and summer began.  I was busy hanging out with friends and working.  Going camping and planning how cool my senior year in high school would be.  And I was still talking to the this guy on the phone.  Only he was calling me too.  And he kept asking me to be his girlfriend.  And I kept saying no.  I didn't want to say no.  I wanted to say YES!  But I didn't.  I kept saying no because he was only going to be a FRESHMAN and I was going to be a SENIOR.  And my best friend kept telling me how dumb I would be to have a boyfriend who was only a FRESHMAN.  She kept telling me that everyone would tease me and think I was like, totally not cool, ya' know?  So I kept saying no. 

So school started and I saw this guy EVERY DAY at school.  We didn't live in the same town so school was the only place we saw each other.  And we were still talking on the phone every night.  Even though he was going out with the little sister of my best friend.  The friend that said I should NOT go out with him because he was too young.  Then one day they broke up.  And then the next day we were walking towards each other between classes.  And then I was walking up to him and KISSED HIM!  And kept walking to my locker! 

Yeah...we were boyfriend and girlfriend after that.  We fought. We made up.  We fought.  We made up.  He taught me how to ride a dirt bike.  He made me BLTs without the L.  He worked mornings before school milking cows and setting irrigation pipes so he could buy me a ring for Christmas.  He let me wear his favorite flannel shirt and his big brother's old football jersey.  We spent every weekend together either at my house or his house.  We talked on the phone every night.  His dad, Carl, let us sit in the front seat (bucket seat) together, when Carl would drive me home.  We were in love and we planned our future.

But then the end of my senior year came.  Friends told me I should break up with him.  We were fighting more as I talked about going to college and he felt he was getting left behind.  One thing led to another and I broke up with him a week before graduation.  It was the most terrible feeling I had ever experienced.  What should have been a fun-filled week of activities was overshadowed with sadness and stupid high school antics.  On the night of my graduation, he was there with his mom.  After the ceremony he kissed me and begged me to take him back.  I was so dumb as I pushed him away and ran off with my friends.

As summer began again we both did stupid things.  My best friend and his best friend were now a couple and it made life difficult.  I avoided him completely.  When I did have to see him I was mean.  Why?  Because I could be.  Somehow, the friend who had told me to break up with him in the first place convinced me to get back together with him.  So I did.   And it was like we had never been apart.  But things were different.  I was a "grown-up" now.  I had just turned 18 and I was getting ready to move out on my own.  I had just started classes at the community college. And I was working a lot more.  He was a sophomore in high school and he hated being there when I wasn't.  So he cut classes.  He hung out with the wrong crowd.  And he did something else.

I went to meet him for lunch one day at the high school.  While I was waiting for him, this girl (not a nice girl) came up to me and asked me why I was waiting for her boyfriend.  What was she talking about?  He didn't have time to be with this girl and why would he?  She was nasty and everyone knew it.  As he walked out and saw me, he smiled.  Then he saw her.  AWKWARD.  He walked off with me and I began to question him about her.  What was she talking about?  We argued; that's really all I remember.  I know I was living on my own then and he came home with me.  I can't remember what was said, but I know he convinced me that she was lying and I was the only one he loved.

The next night my world fell apart.  I found out that he had been seeing her all summer long.  That he was still seeing her, while HE WAS SEEING ME.  I was crushed.  I repeatedly called his house that night so I could confront him but the line was busy.  I finally got a hold of him after midnight.  I made him tell me the truth and he admitted that he had only gotten back with me so he could hurt me the way I had hurt him a few months ago.  I told him I hated him.  I broke the 45 of Madonna's Crazy For You single ("our" song) on the phone and told him that was the sound of my heart breaking.  Then I hung up the phone.  The next day I mailed the broken pieces to him.

And I didn't talk to him for 20 years.  Even though we lived in the same town.  Even though he worked right next to my husband in the lumber mill.  Even though our children were in grade school together.  Even though my middle daughter and his second son were in the same class at a very small school.  Even though this same daughter and son dated for awhile.  Not once.  Not until that same daughter and son graduated from 8th grade.  And at that 8th grade graduation we talked to each other.  We said, "hi."  That was it.

In that 20 years apart, a lot happened.  Here is the shortest version I know how to provide.

Me: 

• Met and married a man that was 9 years older than me and had been married one before.  I turned 20 one month after the wedding.  He also had a 4 year old daughter when I met him.
• I quit college and went to work full time at the bakery until I got pregnant and ended up having an ectopic pregnancy.
• Had 3 babies in 3 1/2 years.
• Was a full-time mom, gardener, chef, nurse, teacher, etc. until the youngest started kindergarten and then I got a part time job.
• Lost our house, moved back to the company town, and went back to college.
• Full-time student, full-time mom, full-time everything.
• Finished school with a BA in Elementary Education.
• Started seeing my previously-night-shift husband full time and realized...yeah.
• Said hi to HIM at graduation.
• Moved out on my own for the first time in 20 years.  Without my kids for the first time in my life. 
• Made lots of dumb mistakes.
• Decide to turn over a new leaf on June 1, 2007

Him:

• Quit school and went to work in the woods with his dad.
• Got the bad girl from a few paragraphs up pregnant when he was 16.
• Tried to be a dad to his son, but was prevented by the mom.
• Wrecks cars.
• Gets married and goes to jail the next day for drunk driving.
• Has 3 kids and is a great dad.
• Gets a divorce when the youngest is 1.
• Sustains a major back injury at the lumber mill that leaves him permanently unable to work.
• Gets thrown in the slammer a few more times for drunk driving.
• Says hi to ME at graduation.
• Gets arrested for drunk driving and sent to San Quentin for 3 months and rehabilitation facility for 9 months.
• Gets out of rehab on May 23, 2007

The rest of the story next time. And don't forget to enter the giveaway!

Betty Crocker & Safeway Giveaway

I recently received a Betty Crocker prize pack and Safeway gift card in the amount of $25 from MyBlogSpark.com.  Included in the prize pack were the following items:

• VIP coupon for one Betty Crocker Brownie Mix
• Red Oven Mitt
• Stainless Steel Mixing Bowl
• Silicone Baking Pan
• Betty Crocker Mixing Spoon
• $25 Safeway Gift Card

What a great parcel to get in the mail!  I quickly used the coupon for the brownie mix and the $25 gift card.  I have stashed away the other items to use as a gift.  What I really liked about the Betty Crocker Brownie Mix was that it was made with Hershey's chocolate; I chose the dark chocolate mix....Yum!

Want to download some great coupons directly to your Safeway Card?  Go to Bake Sweet Memories and get started!  The website also has

• yummy recipes (Lemonade Party Cake in my fave)
• great gift ideas (Breakfast in bed is always a winner)
• sweet and funny e-cards (right now, featuring Mom)

Would you like to receive your own Betty Crocker/Safeway Prize Pack?  You can go directly to MyBlogSpark.com to become a member of their program.  It's really easy to sign up.  Or you can enter the giveaway going on right here on my blog for a chance to win a prize pack.  The prize pack DOES NOT include a VIP coupon for a Betty Crocker Brownie Mix.

Here are the rules:

1. This first entry is mandatory.  Leave a comment telling me your favorite Betty Crocker product.
2. Become a follower of my blog or let me know you already are a follower.
3. Subscribe to this blog in the reader of your choice or let me know you already do.
4. If you do ALL THREE of the above entries, I will automatically double your chances.  In other words, if you do ALL THREE ENTRY METHODS I will put your name into "the hat" 6 times!
5. Winner will be randomly chosen @ 8 PM (pdt) on Saturday, May 8.  Winner will have 24 hours to confirm with me in a comment on the WINNER POST.  I will then forward your info to My Blog Spark, who is responsible for sending your prize.

Contributions to Society

We are a country made up of many cultures and ethnic groups.  Our country has been referred to as a melting pot - where all peoples come together and and eventually are all the same.  We have been referred to as a stew - where all peoples come together and take on some of the "flavors" of those around them while retaining there own distinct flavor and colors.  And the United States has been referred to as a salad - where all peoples come together and make a delicious meal but each ingredient is unique and retains it's own flavor.  I think all of these have been accurate descriptions of our country throughout history.  As Americans began to call themselves "American" it was the desire of many to have everyone be the same.  It was the desire of some in charge of running the country and it was the desire of some coming to this country.  That would be the "melting pot philosophy."  Then as leaders and the common man began to see the value in other cultures, America took on the "stew philosophy."  We could take on some of the aspects of other cultures while retaining our own cultural traits.  The "salad philosophy" is like we are one country but everyone is distinct.  Each culture is equally valuable and together makes up a great nation.

Not all subscribe to anyone of these philosophies.  I can see positives and negatives in all of them.  Regardless of what your own personal philosophy of the many varied cultures that make up America is, I hope we can all agree on one thing.  That one thing, is that America would not be the prosperous and blessed nation that we are without contributions of people from all walks of life and all ethnic backgrounds.  I could start this series by focusing on the contributions of people from my ethnic background - German and Eastern Europe.  However, since Hispanics are such a major portion of public and political discourse these days, I have decided to start with that ethnic group.

Even before I lost a couple of followers over my last post, I had decided that I wanted to do this, so this post is not for that reason.  It's because I recognize that I wouldn't be where I am today with out contributions by courageous, brave, intelligent men and women from all countries.  Also, my grand-daughter has Hispanic blood running through her veins.  I want her to be proud of every bit of "her" history.  If I am going to help her to learn about her story, I have to be educated myself.

I found this great website called Hispanic Contributions to the United States of America.  Here is just a small amount of the information I learned there.

• In the Mexican-American War, Captain Juan Seguin and other Hispanic Texans fought at the Alamo against General Santa Anna's soldiers, essentially fighting alongside American heroes Davey Crockett, Jim Bowie, and William Travis.

• Father Junipero Serra, founder of the California missions, became a pioneer in the fight for human rights for the Native Americans.

• In medicine, Dr. Walter Reed is generally credited with originating the theory of yellow fever transmissions by mosquitoes. The truth is that he only confirmed this theory. Carlos Juan Finlay, a modest Cuban physician, was the one who actually originated it.

• In the art world, muralist Diego Rivera became known not only in Mexico but throughout the world.  He painted murals not only in Mexico but also in Detroit, San Francisco, and New York City.  He was married to another famous Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo.

• Dr. Ellen Ochoa, in 1990, was the first Hispanic woman to become an astronaut.  She served on a nine-day mission aboard the shuttle Discovery in 1993. The astronauts were studying the Earth's ozone layer.

• Where would migrant farm workers be without Cesar Chavez?  He co-founded the United Farm Workers with another Hispanic, Dolores Huerta.  This organization helped farm laborers get improved working conditions and better wages.  He was also committed to limiting immigration and against the practice of hiring undocumented workers as strike-breakers.

• Remember the movie, Stand and Deliver?  The movie told the story of Jaime Escalante and his ability to reach East Los Angeles students through calculus.  It starred Edward James Olmos (a famous Hispanic actor) as Jaime.

• And I have to add Selena and the portrayer of her in the movie, Selena, Jennifer Lopez.  (Edward James Olmos was in this movie too.)  Selena was often called the Queen of Tejano music and was just to about to start a cross-over to American radio when she was murdered by the president of her fan club.

I could list hundreds of Hispanics that have made contributions to society and America.  As Americans, we should always remember that North America wasn't discovered by Europeans.  This continent existed for centuries before any white man set foot on the soil.  Once those first Europeans arrived and the nation of the United States was established, this has been a country of various peoples from all ethnic and cultural backgrounds.  We are a better nation for the contributions made by these people.