A Life of Recovery...Or Not

Last night I watched Lady Sings the Blues starring Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams.  For those of you who don't know, this is a bio pic about jazz singer Billie Holiday. 

I had seen this movie as a teen and had always loved it.  It introduced me to one of the greatest jazz voices of our time (sort of since Diana Ross does all the singing) and fed my love for history.  Wow!  Age sure does play a huge role in your perceptions.  Watching it last night, I kept thinking, why did I love this movie so much?  Yes, it's still a good story and the songs are amazing, but what the heck?  According to the movie, Lady Day had the love of a wonderful man and had a bit of fame and fortune.  Why did she keep going back to the opium and heroin?  Here are my thoughts about the issue.
First of all, I have never personally had to deal with substance abuse so I can only imagine how difficult it must be to break that cycle.  Second of all, the movie was loosely based on her life.  The movie didn't show all the abusive men that came in and out of her life.  It didn't tell us the story of being born to teenage parents, being raped at the age of 10, and having to live in a strict girls' reformatory after that rape.  It does portray, a little bit, her work in a brothel; first as a housekeeper and then as a prostitute.  It doesn't show the despair Miss Holiday must have felt at being punished for crimes that were not her own (rape, possession of drugs).  And the wonderful relationship with Louis McKay?  Mostly fiction.  Yes she did have a relationship with him, but it was nothing like the loving relationship portrayed in the film.  Also, the film painted a picture of Billie Holiday as an innocent who had no control over the things that happened to her.  I'm thinking this could be because Diana Ross was the darling of Berry Gordy, who produced this movie, and at the time he had an image to uphold for Diana Ross.  One more point, addicts were viewed differently 70-80 years ago.  They were viewed strictly as criminals with moral failings.  They didn't always get the kinds of treatment that would allow them to break these destructive behaviors.  They weren't given tools to help them deal with the stresses of life that caused them to turn to drugs or alcohol in the first place.  Thank goodness some things have changed!

My husband has dealt with alcoholism all his life.  His maternal grandparents were both alcoholics who abandoned their children at various times.  He is the youngest of five brothers and he has one sister that is younger.  Three of his older brothers have had problems with drugs and alcohol.   BunBun wasn't immune to the genetics unfortunately.  His oldest brother gave him his very first drink at the age of 12.  I've never told you the whole story about BunBun and me (another post, another time) but I was with him during some of those years that his brothers were supplying him with alcohol and marijuana.  Anyway...he never really had a chance.  That's not an excuse because at some point you start to recognize right from wrong and the destruction those things can have on your life.  But I'm proud to tell you that in June of this year BunBun will have 4 years of sobriety.   It's something he has worked very hard on and I believe he will be the first to tell you he couldn't have done it without God.  That being said, I was super excited to be able to receive - free of charge- The Life Recovery Bible from Tyndale House Publishers.

 This New Living Translation Bible was edited to help those who have or are going through recovery programs.  The editors are Stephen Arterburn, founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and David Stoop, founder and director of The Center for Family Therapy.  There are several devotionals throughout the bible that provide a biblical basis for recovery.  There are the Twelve Step Devotionals, Serenity Prayer Devotionals, and Recovery Principle Devotionals.  Another great feature of this Bible is the profiles of Bible characters and important recovery lessons that they provide.  There are also book outlines, a topical index, and an user's guide to name a few. 
I looked over the Bible and read a few of the devotionals.  I enjoyed them and felt they could even be applied to the life of someone who is not going through recovery.  My husband also enjoyed it and said the features that dealt with recovery were well-written and easy to follow.  He did say that some people that attend twelve step programs may take offense to someone bringing the Bible to a meeting because not everyone identifies their "higher power" as God.  However, we both agreed that this Bible would be very useful to someone who has accepted that God is the ONLY higher power and is on the road to becoming a true follower of Christ.
Getting clean and/or sober is not an easy process.  It takes years and lots of hard work.  I'm thankful that my husband has decided he is worth the effort of recovery.  I'm thankful that GOD allowed me to marry this wonderful man.  I'm also happy that the Life Recovery Bible is available to people like my husband who are seeking to do God's will and stay on the recovery path.

I received this Bible, free of charge, from Tyndale House Publishers.  The opinions expressed here are 100% my own.  I was not compensated in any other way by Tyndale.

I Just Finished Reading...

 

I received this book free of charge from Tyndale Publishers as part of the Tyndale Blog Network.  Unless otherwise stated, the opinions given here are 100% mine.

This book is written by a husband and wife, Hayley and Michael DiMarco, that have written dozens of books on love and relationships. They started the company Hungry Planet, an organization that strives to reach the world with books and other media that is truthful.

According to the DiMarco's the definition of "cupidity" is "where love and stupid meet." The book covers many aspects of love, from meeting to marrying and long after the honeymoon. Things men and women say and do in the name of love is often pure cupidity.

At the beginning of the book there is a Cupidity Quiz to help you determine where you fall on the stupidity in love scale. I didn't do too bad. I have some areas that I need to think about and work on, but overall, I'm not doing too bad. (Thank goodness! It's nice to know I've learned something in my 42 years.) The book is then divided up into 5 sections: Emotional Acts of Cupidity, Mental Acts of Cupidity, Physical Acts of Cupidity, Social Acts of Cupidity, and Spiritual Acts of Cupidity.

While I definitely enjoyed the fact that the authors are Christians and used scriptures throughout to help make their points, at times I felt like I was reading a book written by teenagers. The text was often cutesy and shallow. I did enjoy some of the little side notes such as the ways a man feels loved and the way a woman feels loved, or the five signs you've gotten too comfortable in your relationship.

I would probably purchase this book for young adults, single and married, as the book addresses both of those issues. I think it is written for a younger reader than a 42 year old mom of 6. I would consider it a light read and worthy of taking a few notes, especially if you want to improve your romantic life.


And don't forget...ONLY 4 MORE DAYS TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY!

I Just Finished Reading...

"Once An Arafat Man" by Tass Saada with Dean Merrill. 

I received this book, free of charge, from Tyndale Publishing as part of the Tyndale Blog Network.  Unless otherwise stated, the opinions given here are 100% my own.

Let me start off by saying that this is not a book I would normally pick up and read for pleasure.  It's not even a book I would normally pick up for any reason.  However, once I received this book from Tyndale, I couldn't put it down.  Author information from the book describes Tass Saada in the following way:

Tass Saada is a former Muslim and is co founder of Hope for Ishmael, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to reconcile Arabs and Jews to God and each other through the gospel of Christ.  Saada was born in 1951 in the Gaza Strip, and he grew up in Saudi Arabia and Qatar.  He was a PLO sniper and militant fighter.  He worked directly for Arafat.  In America, he became a Christian.

Before reading this book I knew some general facts about the Middle East.  The Palestinians and the Jews are in constant conflict over land.  Yasser Arafat was the leader of the PLO and had something to do with Middle Eastern politics.  As a Christian, I also knew that Arab peoples are descended from Ishmael and that Jewish peoples are descended from Isaac.  I had a mild understanding of Islam. 

This book gave me a great lesson in some history of the Middle East in a way that was easy to read and understand.  It is Tass' story and he tells it well.  The book is divided into thirds. 

The first third, titled, How I Learned to Hate, tells the story of Tass' birth in the Gaza Strip in a refugee camp, his family's relocation to Saudi Arabia, and final settlement in Qatar.  This section details how the author grew up hating everyone that was not Muslim and his desire to reclaim what he thought was the rightful ownership of land for the Palestinian people.  There are some disturbing sections here, such as when Saada describes what is was like to claim his first victim as a sniper when he was still a teenager.  This section was also very informative, as it gave me a better understanding of Middle Eastern relations and some history of the area. 

The second section, titled, How I Learned to Love, begins with Saada's desire to find out what the mysterious "connection" is that his friend Charlie keeps talking about.  As I read the story of his conversion to Christianity and how Jesus became more than just a prophet to this former Muslim, tears streamed down my face.  I appreciated the use of biblical scriptures to emphasize the points the author was making.  This section also details how Saada told his family, still in Qatar, about his conversion.  There were passages where the author used the Qu' ran to reinforce what the Bible says and I found that interesting.

The final section, titled, Road Map to Reconciliation, explains in very easy steps why Christians must understand the Muslim/Jewish situation and how it can be resolved.  There are no quick fixes here, no diplomatic posturings.  Simply put, we need to share the love of Jesus with all.  Jesus is not the messiah for only the Christians.  He came to be the messiah for the Muslims, the Jews, the Buddhists, the atheists, for everyone.  Loving and praying for our enemies does not only mean those far away in the Holy Land.  It means our neighbor, our co-worker, our family.

I completely and totally recommend this book to anyone who wants to see how God can change even the most hardened murderer.  It is a quick read, is great for learning about the Middle Eastern situation that has been going on since Abraham and Sarah decided to help God's promise along, and it will cause you to think about the relationships in your own life.

As stated above, I was provided a copy of "Once An Arafat Man" for free from Tyndale Publishing.  I received no other compensation and the review and opinions written here are 100% mine.

To find out more about Tass Saada's nonprofit organizations, visit seedsofhope.org and hopeforishmael.org.