Yes, I wash my hands frequently. Especially since I work with kids and the general public. But, nonetheless, these critters have taken up residence in my body. And in the words of Garrett...."Jesus likes us to share." Thanks for reminding me Garrett, but I don't think He meant this. And while I'm sure that Joseph's mother likes him to share, I'm guessing Tootie might be wrong when she suggested this was all Joseph's fault.
They arrived uninvited and I'm quite ready for them to leave.
They have outstayed their welcome.
I don't like uninvited visitors....especially the rude and disgusting kind.
When I do this...several things happen at once.
I nearly pee my pants.
My feet feel like they are coming up through my chest.
My raging throat feels like sandpaper against flint.
I start whining and planning my funeral.
So you see... I have a bad case of the Humboldt Crud. The stuff is legendary around here. Parents sending their sweet wee ones to the local university are encouraged to pack them a Humboldt Crud Kit. Poems have been written about the Crud. And local health food stores know to carry Crud Cure for all us locals.
I'd done with it though. I'm ready to fight back with my herbs, teas, lozenges, juice, and vitamin C. If I don't make it out alive....well, don't come to the funeral. I don't want you to get the Crud.