For This Child I Prayed

Like Hannah in the Old Testament, I prayed for a son.  Unlike Hannah, I was not barren and had every reason to feel happy and blessed.  It was 1992, and I was a mommy to 2 1/2 year old Molly and 1 year old Callie.  I had two precious little girls that I loved and adored, and yet like Hannah, my heart yearned for something more.  A little boy.  In my selfishness  prayed, petitioned GOD to please, if it be HIS will, let us have a little boy to add to our family.  In GOD's infinite wisdom, He chose to grant my request.  Before I even conceived, God promised that I would have a son.  On March 12, 1993, Levi James was added to our family.  Throughout the pregnancy I had continually told other's of God's promise to me.  Even though I had no sonogram, no genetic testing, I was convinced, because of God's promise, that I would have a baby boy. Others doubted, but I knew.

Tonight my recently-turned-17 year old son came to me and we had a conversation unlike any we have had before.  Without going into too many details, I let my children down in a really big way a little over 4 years ago.  It culminated in the divorce of the family they had come to know.  I changed their world beyond anything I can even comprehend.  Although God has forgiven me for the mistakes and sins I committed during that time, and even though I have sought my children's forgiveness, I have a hard time forgiving myself.  My children still bear the hurts and the scars of that time.  Speaking only from my own experience, there is a reason GOD has a plan or marriage to be the way He says.  That is for a different post.  Anyway, my son and I had a very emotional and grown-up conversation tonight.  While my heart is aching for him in several ways, I want to say that my son is an amazing young man.

While he is not perfect, he is growing up to be someone I can say I'm proud to know.  Only because God has chosen in His matchless grace to bless me, do I have an intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful son.  He is nearing the end of his junior year in high school and he has major decisions to make in the next months and upcoming school year.  Only God knows the perfect plan He has laid out for my son.  Please join me in praying for this young man that I love beyond measure.

My baby is #64

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

1 Samuel 1:27

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

The Bean, football, and a finished project

So The Bean stayed with her oma and opa last night and it was relatively peaceful. Her she is all fresh and clean. I handed her to opa while he was in the shower. She DID NOT like that. She prefers a nice sedate little bath. She is the cutest thing on the planet (in my book, anyway) and I can't believe how big she is getting already. She just turned 3 months old! Aside from the barfing, (BunBun calls her Ralph) she is a joy to have around. I never knew I could have so much fun with a squirming little human.

Here is my son, Levi. He is #64 and is the center for the varsity Ferndale Wildcats. This pic was taken last Saturday when the Wildcats KILLED East Nicholas by about 50 points. Last night the team traveled to Willits to play and they won that game as well, 44-16. I'm so proud of Levi and his commitment to his team and the sport he loves. He eats conscientiously (most of the time) and although he plays other sports in the off-season, he works year round to stay ready for football. He is the boy GOD promised me and i couldn't be more proud.

Here is the butterfly I made for the Holocaust Butterfly Project. I basically took a brown grocery bag, measured the size limits, and drew a butterfly within that space. Next I took some card stock and cut it into squares and glued them onto the drawing, overlapping when i needed to to cover the bag. When it had dried, i took a black sharpie and went around the entire outline and each and every piece of card stock. Then i cut it out and mailed it to Houston. I think it looks like stained glass, kind of. Not the most gorgeous piece of artwork, but something I'm proud of nonetheless.