Tuesday, March 23, 2010

For This Child I Prayed

Like Hannah in the Old Testament, I prayed for a son.  Unlike Hannah, I was not barren and had every reason to feel happy and blessed.  It was 1992, and I was a mommy to 2 1/2 year old Molly and 1 year old Callie.  I had two precious little girls that I loved and adored, and yet like Hannah, my heart yearned for something more.  A little boy.  In my selfishness  prayed, petitioned GOD to please, if it be HIS will, let us have a little boy to add to our family.  In GOD's infinite wisdom, He chose to grant my request.  Before I even conceived, God promised that I would have a son.  On March 12, 1993, Levi James was added to our family.  Throughout the pregnancy I had continually told other's of God's promise to me.  Even though I had no sonogram, no genetic testing, I was convinced, because of God's promise, that I would have a baby boy. Others doubted, but I knew.

Tonight my recently-turned-17 year old son came to me and we had a conversation unlike any we have had before.  Without going into too many details, I let my children down in a really big way a little over 4 years ago.  It culminated in the divorce of the family they had come to know.  I changed their world beyond anything I can even comprehend.  Although God has forgiven me for the mistakes and sins I committed during that time, and even though I have sought my children's forgiveness, I have a hard time forgiving myself.  My children still bear the hurts and the scars of that time.  Speaking only from my own experience, there is a reason GOD has a plan or marriage to be the way He says.  That is for a different post.  Anyway, my son and I had a very emotional and grown-up conversation tonight.  While my heart is aching for him in several ways, I want to say that my son is an amazing young man.

While he is not perfect, he is growing up to be someone I can say I'm proud to know.  Only because God has chosen in His matchless grace to bless me, do I have an intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful son.  He is nearing the end of his junior year in high school and he has major decisions to make in the next months and upcoming school year.  Only God knows the perfect plan He has laid out for my son.  Please join me in praying for this young man that I love beyond measure.

My baby is #64

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
1 Samuel 1:27

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11


  1. I loved this post. I'll definitely be praying for your son.

  2. Great post. I love how God answers prayer.

  3. As I wipe away the forming tears, my heart yearns for reconciliation between you and Levi *hugs*

  4. Hi honey. I just stopped by because you've been on my mind so much. I haven't been following my blog roll lately, not enough time and migraines. But I just haven't been able to get you off my mind. I tried to connect to you last night on my blackberry in the middle of the night. Anyway for some reason I have trouble getting through on a lot of the blogs.

    I will be praying for you son and you. Please don't be too hard on yourself, we tend to do that. I'm happy that your son came to you and you shared that time and conversation together.

    I just want you to know that the Lord has had you on my mind and I am here thinking of you and praying for you in the name of Jesus.

    Have a restful, peaceful sleep tonight. I love you. Hugs...Tracy :)

  5. AMEN! Time is a great healer - just give things time...

  6. Hey Honey. I wanted to drop by and tell you I'm thinking of you and still praying for you. I hope things are getting better day by day. If you ever need a friend to listen you just let me know. I pray you feel God's strength and the angels sweet presence.

    Big warm hugs and love, Tracy :)


Let your voice be heard!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin